Tuesday, September 27, 2016

अमिताभ बच्चन ने माना कि #अबसमझौतानहीं सिर्फ एक प्रमोशनल एक्ट था.

अमिताभ बच्चन ने आज यह ट्वीट करके सबको चौंका दिया कि #अबसमझौतानहीं उनकी निजी राइ नहीं थी बल्कि एक प्रमोशनल स्टंट था. पहले लोगों को लगा की अभिषेक बच्चन मज़ाक कर रहे हैं. लेकिन फिर महानायक ने खुद इस बात की पुष्टि की कि वो ट्वीट उन्होंने खुद किआ था.
फ़ेकिंग न्यूज़ के संवाददाता ने इस बारे में बिग बी के चौकीदार प्रवेश अधिकारी से बात की तो पता चला कि विडियो का सीधा असर उनके परिवार पर पड़ा था. हुआ ये की जया बच्चन बिना लिपस्टिक के पार्लियामेंट  में चली में चली गयीं. यूपी बिहार के सांसदों ने खूब मज़ाक उड़ाया। " गुड्डी, अब तो समझौता छोड़ो। लाल लिपस्टिक नहीं थी तो पान ही खाकर आ जातीं। "
उधर ऐश्वर्या ने अभिषेक को भी अल्टीमेटम दे दिया कि  अब वो प्रो कबड्डी के मैच नहीं देखेगी. ऐश्वर्या ने अंग्रेज़ी में अपनी भड़ास  निकालते हुए कहा. "एक तो गेम मेरी समझ में नहीं आता.  स्टुपिड गेम. ऊपर से ये स्टार स्पोर्ट्स वाले. जब में मैच देखती हूँ तो कोई कवरेज नहीं होता. जैसे ही मेक उप स्टार्ट करती हूँ, मुझे कवर कर देते हैं. और वैसे भी, अगर तुम ऐ दिल है  मुश्किल  को प्रमोट नहीं कर सकते ,  तो मैं तुम्हारी टीम को क्यों प्रमोट करूँ। बस. अब समझौता नहीं. "
उधर दीपिका पदुकोने ने यह कहकर अमिताभ के विडियो की धज्जियां उड़ा दी कि उनकी सोच बीस साल पुराणी है. उन्होंने कहा कि आजकल कोई लड़की स्कर्ट नहीं पहनती. "कभी देखा है आलिया को स्कर्ट में ? अमित जी क्यों लड़कियों को स्कर्ट पहनने की सलाह दे रहे हैं? ये उनका काम नहीं है. सेक्स के बारे में तो बोलते नहीं हैं  अमित जी. फिर तो  मतलब नहीं बनता उनके भाषण का. " 
उधर आराध्या ने भी ज़िद  पकड़ ली कि वो स्कूल गाड़ी में नहीं बल्कि सुनसान गलियों से जाएगी. बच्ची  मासूमियत ने बच्चन के होश ठिकाने ला दिए. 
अमिताभ बच्चन ने माना कि #अबसमझौतानहीं सिर्फ एक प्रमोशनल एक्ट था. उन्होंने ये भी कहा कि विडियो वाली बातें सिर्फ उन लड़कियों के लिए थीं  जिनको बुल फाइटिंग आती हो और जो सांडों मर्दों से लड़ सके. आम लड़कियों के लिए नहीं. 

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Baar BaarDekho has confused India

Dharma Productions's latest offering "Baar Baar Dekho" has opened to mixed reactions across the whole country. While some have termed it as a path breaking film, some others are shocked at the on-screen experience of watching it.
We loved it..
Critics and Karan Johar's friends, Sidharth Malhotra's parents and Katrina Kaif's staff claim that they both understood and loved the film. 
One critic Mr. Karan's Mouthpiece said while speaking to Faking news correspondent, "Its a film that speaks of relationships in the scientific language that today's generation understands. Its not a rom com that we get to see every week these days. HaHaHa.  Its a sci-fi film based on time travel with its heart in the Indian family values. Its an Indian Interstellar I would say."
Another critic Mr. Barrons Mugger outpoured his emotions while speaking to us ,"I despise giving it the trivial term the 'rom-com'. It is the ultimate what-if saga, narrated with a tender care and subdued splendour that makes every moment between the lead pair precious and gladdening". Our correspondent could not take it any more and shut his mike.
What the hell was that...
However, the common man in the country is struggling to make sense of the film. The South Indians believe the film is based on Kumbhakaran's marital life. One of the many Srinivases down South, on condition of anonymity spoke to us. "The protagonist in the film is based on Kumbhakarna. First he sleeps for 10 days. Then he sleeps for 2 years, and then for 20 years. Vonnly Kumbhakarna can do this. But this is Bollywood movie nooo. They will marry many times.... Mrs. Kumbhakaran was loyal to her husband. These Bollywood people have twisted the facts."
People from Punjab have a contrasting take on this. They believe the inappropriate cuts from Pahlaj Nihalani  are responsible for the confusion.
Miss BraveAndBold  spoke to our correspondent," The Censor Board is behaving like a grandmother. There are so many cuts in the film that it looks like a time travel film. Sidharth Malhotra sleeps at 40 years of age and wakes up at 60. I am sure
Karan Johar the director must have shot some scenes for that period and they have been cut off. Where is the freedom of expression?"
The common man's critic Kamal R Khan has lashed out at Karan Johar for making the film calling him a 2 Rs. film maker. "Baar baar dekho ek bar bhi nahin dekhni chahiye. Karan Johar does not know how to edit films. Pehle song, fir shadi, fir bache, fir divorce aur fir budhapa. Is film mein sab ulta pulta hai. These people are 2 Rs people."
Karan Johar has come forward to clear the confusion. He appealed to the viewers to "baar baar dekho" to understand it better. "Indians are obsessed with simplistic plots and predictable screenplays. Baar baar dekho is an attempt to change the Indian mindsets. You don't have to watch a film to understand it. You can take plenty of questions from it and discuss with your friends and in this aspect, I am proud to say that our film has pushed the envelope."

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Baar Baar Dekho disrupts India's sleep

Sleeping for a cause

Various incidents of abnormal sleeping patterns have been reported from various parts of the country. The one common thing about all the patients is that they all watched Baar Baar Dekho. 
Dr. Farci Gupta from Fortis Hospital, Noida spoke to our correspondent," Sleep disorder is not such a bad thing. Boozing will get them to sleep. But the problem here is the patients are trying to give up alcohol to avoid sleeping which is insane. We are trying to inject beer through saline and get them to sleep."
The families of the patients are severely worried. Mrs. Swapn Doshi agreed to talk to us. "We got married recently and were on honeymoon. Baar Baar Dekho was our first movie together. My husband started behaving strangely after the film got over. He cooked for me, washed my clothes and even did my facial. I thought the film did wonders to him. I was wrong. I woke in the middle of the following night and found him awake. When I asked him to sleep, he retorted saying he did not want to sleep and wake up to a five year old son.". And started crying aloud.
Mrs. Wudbe Maa has a different problem. Her husband has been sleeping continuously for the last 3 days. "I am three months pregnant. I wanted a handsome boy like Sidharth. So I insisted we watch that stupid film. And now my husband says not to wake him up till the baby becomes 5 years old."
Abnormal sleeping tendencies have also been reported from South. Mr. Sleepy Gowda at Sinfosys was assigned a critical bug to fix by his Manager on Monday. Mr. Gowda went to sleep in the hope of getting up after the issue gets fixed by his U.S. counterparts. The security woke him up the next day and asked him to vacate the company immediately.
Mr.Gowda though did not reach home immediately. He got stuck in traffic and went to sleep, hoping to wake up at home some day. He woke up after two days to find himself at the same spot with the same people.