Monday, April 20, 2009

IPL again..........

Half way into the IPL 2 and we still donot know who will make it to the semis and who will not.
Yes. The optimist in me says KKR still has an outside chance if Sourav is handed over the captaincy and the coach confined to his hotel room. I take this blog as an opportunity to step out of the gloom that SRK has gifted to his die-hard fans by nodding to "multiple" mindless decisions taken by John Buchanan. My thoughts on the consequences for the loosing teams:

KKR
SRK sacks Buchanan and company. Rani Mukherji is appointed as the coach and Kajol will be the Manager, hoping that the chemistry extends on to the cricket field as well. Katrina Kaif becomes the Manager of the team (sensible move given how well she has been managing Salman Khan).

RCB
Kingfisher shuts down its airways. And the players have been assured of lucrative posts in the soon-to-be-launched Kingfisher AUTOS.

MUMBAI INDIANS
Sachin Tendulkar says, " I am not enjoying the captaincy ". Raj Thackeray accuses the North Indian players (Harbhajan Singh, Shikhar Dhawan) for the loss.

RAJASTHAN ROYALS
A sense of relief would prevail among all the viewers as Shilpa Shetty will no longer be giving her
thirty-two-teeth-visible smile. The lady has been the worst thing to have hapened to the IPL.
From her ugly smile to her fractured ( actually doctored) nose, and the worst part...
her discussing the pitch with Mandira Bedi. For someone who has been glued to cricket since 10 years of age , ( and I believe there are atleast 90 crores like "someone"), that was inhuman.
Anyway, I trust the long leg(s) of the lady would do no good to the team and we will soon be spared.

KINGS XI PUNJAB
Yuvraj would virtually kick all the players and Sreeshanth will have enough reasons to cry. Karan Johar is hoping that Preity Zinta gives him (Sreeshanth I mean...) company. He can use the footage in his upcoming films. By the way, the actress has already given three expressions in the IPL and the Bollywod directors are completely mesmerized by the never-seen-before versatility of her facial muscles.

CHENNAI SUPER KINGS
Karunanidhi has a REAL reason now to go on fast (not that anybody cares).

DELHI DAREDEVILS
Narendra Modi blames the UPA government for the loss. Advani calls SEHWAG a "weak captain".

P.S: DECCAN CHARGERS is missing and that is only because I want them to win . It should not be perceived as "lack of sufficient creativity" :P





Friday, February 6, 2009

INDIAN CHEERLEADERS LEAGUE (ICL)

Gripped by the IPL 2 fever, I take the responsibility of nominating cheer leaders for various teams a.k.a ICL :)

KOLKOTA KNIGHT RIDERS
SRK jumps enough and remembering GANGULY's shirt waving antics, I doubt they would need any profesional cheer-leader. Not to mention that SRK implies the superset of RANI MUKERJI, KARAN JOHAR and FARAH KHAN.

DECCAN CHARGERS
What does it take to cheer up a Hyderabadi? Biryaani, Mirchi, Irani chai.........
Can we have SANJEEV KAPOOR as a cheer-leader please ? Though I suspect CHIRANJEEVIand PAVAN KALYAN would voluntarily take up the roles (for a different reason though).

KINGS XI PUNJAB
I am forced to believe that they have a cheerleader in their own team. SREESHANTH! :P

MUMBAI INDIANS
RAJ THACKERAY! Not sure if he can cheer his kids up, but not a bad idea to keep him involved for a good two months.

DELHI DAREDEVILS
Given the form of Sehwag and Gambhir, cheer leader will have to dance non-stop.
AKSHAY KUMAR would do. DILLI TO DURBAN would make him richer than CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA. :P

RAJASTHAN ROYALS
12% stake does not come free. SHILPA SHETTY can play the dual (?) role of the cheer-leader.

ROYAL CHALLENGERS BANGALORE:
Given their performance last year, do they need any cheer-leader? :p
But the soporphics badly need someone to wake them up. A bunch of hostel wardens ringing bells after every over may help.

CHENNAI SUPER KINGS
ENNA RASKALAAA! Yes u got it! Get him to the stadium and I guess every viewer would turn into a cheer-leader. MIND IT.....:P